|| Saturday, April 30, 2005

heya..

din have the time to blog last night..so here i am..gonna blog very fast..cos i have to rush to east coast park later..

well..was the last day in NbsS yesterday..

met sab as usual..she and ada got me a piglet..levanne and i named it as dar-dar..gonna miss the journey to sch with her..

got to sch..went to the staff room..vicky was there..right on my desk..hee..so cute..thanks don..

then..passed the cd and the card to don..he was to pass it to yap..and left all the farewell cards to the respective nie teachers..

den..delong came..he got me a piglet too..and a piglet hp accessories..and i named the piglet as strawberry..cos there's a strawberry logo of the leg..thanks thanks..

lessons as usual..near the end of the lessons..give the kids sweets..they were so happy..seeing them so happy made me smile also..

had pizza party in the staff lounge..but i got to gave it a miss cos i was having lessons..but they left a slice for me too..and i asked ly to give one to yap as well..

phang came to the class while i was having lesson..well..he wanted to give the sweets together with me..den..we took pics together..didnt really want to cos i got to sit beside phang..but well..ended up we took oso..cos phang insisted..

went back to the staff room after my last lesson..saw yap talking to ly..later..when yap left..went to talk to ly..

well..i almost cried..tears was abt to roll down..but i cooled myself down..ly confronted Him..

yap said He din mean to lie to me..just that he couldnt find a right time to explain to me..wat the..and ly told Him that He owed me an apology..watever..

in the afternoon..delong came to look for me..he passed me a card and said it was from yap..i wasnt happy..i was pissed..He made delong go out of the sch to get the card..and He never even pay him back the money..

after reading..i seriously have the urge to tear it away..but cos it was bought by delong..i didnt do so..

in the card..he said thank you and apologised to me..i felt nth at that moment..delong sensed something weird..yah..and i poured out everything to him..

after telling him the whole story..he was rather pissed..and he wanted to ask yap for a clearer pic..

he did..called me after my meeting..yap told him a lot of stuff..He has been attached for 2 and a half years..He felt so guilty for lying to me..BUT..why did YOU lie to me in the 1st place?..wat the f***!!

delong was so worried that i break down..but no..i wont..i have been telling myself that i got to be strong..

later..met eugene..xian and su to have dinner at sakae..had a very nice dinner..told them abt yap..eugene and xian said if i needed any help in dealing with yap..but i said forget it..even delong said i deserve a better guy..

after dinner..was already 10..su's parents came to fetch her..and as usual..3 of us walked hm together..

got hm..talked to hide till 11 plus..felt tired and fell aslp..

this morning..actually just went for a jog and came straight to blog..

while jogging..many things came running into my mind..it was all abt yap..many WHYs appeared in my mind..but do they matter now?..i doubt so..

yap just msed me again to thank me and He wanted me to thank the rest of the teachers on his behalf..i said no..He shld do it Himself..i dont want to be the one always helping Him..i'm sick of it..

k..shall stop here..in a rush already..tata..

**[:: she whispered at 9:56 AM ::]**

|| Thursday, April 28, 2005

heya..

din get to blog yesterday..got hm pretty late..

yesterday morning..met shit to go to nus for the interview..was really fun..the interviewers were so comedy..all of us kept laughing..felt so relaxed then..

after that..went to northpoint to have lunch since she was going to look for jon and i needed to go back to sch..

bought lunch for don and ly..and i bought the new album of jolin for delong..know he was extremely happy..i noe he has been waiting for the release of the album..then..chatted with ly for awhile and left the sch with tze hui and delong..while i was going down the stairs from the staff room..saw yap..wanted to ignore Him..but he actually approached me and spoke to me..we crapped for awhile and i left..

on the way to the mrt station..left that delong wasnt very happy..well..shant assume anything..

went to town wtih tze hui to get a bdae present for tan fon..and i wanted to buy the personalised cd..

got a polo tee at far east for tan fon..then..we started to hunt for the cd..we walked all the way from far east to PS and we finally found the cd..i was so worried i couldnt find it..

den..met don at khatib..and ly at yishun..went to cwp to have dinner..was really fun..we started writing a story with all the song titles that i've given don to copy..the story is so comical..we couldnt stop laughing..den..went shopping..ly got to get some gifts for the kids..

later..we went to the arcade..guess wat..don bought a piglet for me..it is whereby we need to stuff the cotton wool into the body ourselves and got to choose a shirt for the piglet..we named it vicky..hee..don gonna give it to me on friday..

tat's for wednesday..

comes today..cleared my desk and had 4 big bags to carry hm..they were so heavy..so my mum waited for me at admiralty mrt station..we went to the bank 1st..asked them abt my mini card..so annoying..found out that they had yet to receive the application form..wat the..but the lady was nice..asked me to reapply and she would get them to send it to me asap..fine..

came hm..delong called me to chat..was rather upset after that when he told me something abt yap..he said that they were talking and yap mentioned abt His gf..He even showed delong the pic..and say that the girl is staying at his place..????????

i was so confused..everything is so ironic..msged ly..she asked me to crush out with Him tml..but..i doubt i'll do it..watever..

tml gonna be my last day in NbSs..gonna miss the kids man..been there for 3 mths..so somehow i've grown attached to the sch..or at least with the kids..

anyway..my brother is bAck!!

so happy man..missed him so so much..well..he got me two presents..they's the stress-reliever dolls..tat's wat i called them..they will start nodding their heads due to the solar light..so cute..thanks kor..

elder brother wants to borrow the car again..2nd bro isnt very willing to lend..but he sounded so fakingly pitiful..so 2nd bro agreed to lend..i wanted to be sacastic..but ended up i didit..just kept my mouth shut..but i did make some nasty comments..lala~

kk..shall stop here..gonna slp soon..kinda tired again..gonna be a long day tml..having pizza party in the staff lounge tml..and sakae buffet at night..i need to go for diet~..hee..next time den say lah..

to you..
-silent-

**[:: she whispered at 8:56 PM ::]**

|| Tuesday, April 26, 2005

heya..

talking to su now..she's sending me some nice songs..

trying to look for 18 songs to copy into a cd..don's helping me to do that..yar..it's for Him..the last gift before i leave the sch..

this morning..was kinda pissed with some stuff..one of which was the class..idiot..shant elaborate much..just wanna say..if u really want to study..LISTEN~

as usual..the whole day was packed..in the afternoon when i was teaching hist..two sec1 girls came running frantically saying there was a girl who has locked herself in the toilet..and she wanted to talk to me..

found out that the girl was being bullied by the boys in her class..and she went to slap a boy..tried to calm her down..mr. elango came..counselled her..she was looking better..then i accompanied her to get her bag and made sure she went back home..

while on my way back to the staff room..met sab..she wanted me to acc her to get ice cream outside the sch..but i was bz then..sorry girl..

then..bogguss and her classmates came to look for me..they needed me to opne the cupboard for them..while preparing for the test papers..was talking to bogguss..

well..heard her side of the story..conclusion..i feel that they (if u noe who i'm talking abt)..shld really sit down and talk..this friendship means so much to each and everyone of you..dont break the bonds between you guys just because of a mediocre conflict..

went back to the staff room after conducting the test..someone missed call me..yap's no appeared on my hp screen..but i somehow felt it was delong who called..why one earth would yap call me..i was right then..delong was waiting for me..

packed my stuff and left with him..went to his hse to meet his mum..and to remember how to go his hse..gonna start giving him hm tuition next wk..he has a lot to catch up man..

poor girl isnt feeling well now..guess it must be abt sunder again..ger..u gonna be strong k..take care..

well..don wanted to have dinner with ly and i..but last minute..ly said she wanted to accompany her mum..so dinner cancelled..but guess we're going to have dinner together tml..anything..

gonna go to town with tze hui to get tan fon's present if the time allows..wanna go town to get something too..

k..shall stop here..

to you..
............

**[:: she whispered at 9:56 PM ::]**

|| Monday, April 25, 2005

heya..

wanted to go to bed..but realised my elder bro has went out..who cares where he goes..so decided to come and blog before i sleep..

last night..wanted to slp early..but ended up i didnt..was talking to tze hui on the phone..crapping..den don called..was talking to him on the phone while he was heading home..he needed a pair of listening ears..

in morning..as usual..went to sch with sab..met Him in the middle of the road..He was walking the other way..heading to the atm machine..

got into the office to sign in as usual..the auntie was mopping the floor so it left a narrow path for ppl to walk..while i was abt to walk out..He came in..both of us were walking in the same path but in opposite directions..i was trying to walk towards my right..and He was going towards the left from His direction..both of us stucked there for awhile..i stopped..and let Him walked 1st..

i din dare to raise my head to see Him..just din have the courage to..sab was there to witness the whole scene..she was saying that why couldnt both of us just say a hi to each other..but well..too bad..

He was wearing the white shirt again..the one that i like..hmm..He was just so close to me at that moment..whatever..

lessons as usual..nth special..in the staff room..was acting as the middleman..both of them should really sit down and talk..but i'm sure it'll turn up well..

met up with sab earlier than planned cos her extra lesson was cancelled..

well..james was supposed to go with us..but we met someone and ended up james din dare to go with us..bish..

saw sunder..supposingly..i shld be having lunch with him today..but he din come and approach me..so i left with sab to catch a movie at j8..

we went to watch guess who..a nice..touching show..feel that the show is meant for sunder and poor girl..
hmm..while we were in the cinema..saw some strange incidents..find it kinda funny though..

after the show..when we were abt to take the train..Alex called..he's a ex-colleague of mine when i was working in the hotel..din expect him to call..but i din talk much to him anyway..felt that there wasnt a need to talk much?

got home..1st thing i did was to talk to shit..she gonna accompany to nus on wed..gdgd..talked to her for quite awhile..but we still have a lot more to catch up with on wed..

found out that my mum cut herself while sewing sone clothes..poor mummy..i cut myself this morning too..din realise it until i saw blood on my leg..and i felt a sharp pain..no worriesi'm fine..

hmm..cant wait for wed to come..my bro dearie is coming back from taiwan..hurray!..i miss him so much..at least when he's ard..i have someone to complain to abt my elder bro..he's in the same boat as me too..hee..

k..shall stop here..hide..i finish blogging already lah..hee..

to you..
we were less than an inch apart..

**[:: she whispered at 10:22 PM ::]**

|| Sunday, April 24, 2005

heya..

it's a sunday afternoon..

feeling tired for the whole day..though i slept at 8pm last night..

wanted to take a short nap again but my mum insisted of me going to get the sweets then..fine..

bought 15 packets of sweets for my dearie students..hope they're enough..if not i'll go get more..

mum bought some household neccessities..she wanted to pay but i refused..i din want her to spent the money we've given her..at least when i'm there..want her to keep all the money that we've given her..

while on our way back..it rained..din bring umbrella..so we had to run across the road..mum tried calling hm to get my brother to bring the brolly down for us..but he wasnt at hm..almost quarrelled with him this morning..but i told myself to keep my mouth shut..got hm..saw the windows opened..couldnt he just close the windows before going out?..pissed..he jolly well not bring his gf hm today..

got drenched just now..well..i walked very slowly under the rain..havent gotten drenched for so long..i felt so refreshed..i dun deny that yap was on my mind..i'm longing for His sms..at least a sms before 29 april from Him?..i doubt so..

to you..
i know i should be letting go..
but can i whisper softly to you again..
saying..
i miss you..

**[:: she whispered at 4:02 PM ::]**

|| Saturday, April 23, 2005

heya..

din have the time to blog yesterday..got hm very late..

yesterday was kinda bz in sch cos everyone was preparing for APD..i was helping with two classes..had to run up and down..i was glad that the students were enthu abt it..so i din mind standing under the hot sun with them to set the booth up..

later..ly came to sch to fetch me..den accompanied her to the denist..and we to orchard..
while parking the car..ly was putting my life into jeopardy..hee..she was actually driving in the opposite lane..omg..and there was actually an oncoming car..luckily nth happened..

got the roses for ada and sab..was hoping that the roses would cheer them up ..knew they were very stressed up due to the APD..

den..met don and phang for dinner..we went to a japanese restaurant..the food was fine..don came late due to the preparation for APD..ly and i shared the glass of alcohol together..my face turned red again..but i was sober..hee..

don paid for the dinner..he wanted to treat me cos i'd helped his class to prepare the songs..

after that..we went to play pool at cineleisure..was so fun..all of us were laughing throughout all the games..all of us really enjoyed the games..

later..ly drove phang and i hm..don wanted to send me hm but was more convenient for ly to send me..

this time..ly put phang's life into jeopardy..he has not even got into the car completely and the door was not yet closed..ly has already started driving..was so scary man..

got hm ard 12am..was kinda tired..and fell aslp..

today is finally the APD cum food and craft fair..

well..was suppsed to meet sunder to go to sch together..but well..i ended up going with fann and hide..was rather pissed with him..hmm..find that he's becoming very irresponsible..he gives me an impression that he will only approach you when he needs your assistance..and i dun really like it..

anyway..morning was the APD..delong was wearing his no.1 uniform to receive his prize..he looked so smart..so proud of him too..wanted to take pic together..but he had duty so shall take another time then..

during th e principal's speech..she mentioned about yap as an example..and some students started looking at me..and i acted ignorant..

later on was the fair..tan fon drew a portrait of me..so sweet of him..it's really nice..tze hui dedicated 3 songs for me..bought me candy floss and took the trouble to bring it up to the hall to give it to me..thanks boy..delong got me a rose and the heart-shaped cusion..he;s always so nice..hmm..think i spent most of my money on food..hee..and don got me a teddy bear..thanks thanks..

then..sigmund came earlier..as usual..students started to think astray..i was sure yap saw him too..all the more better..later..joy came..and subsequently suling came too..well..they saw yap..three words..negative..negative..negative..and nth else..

joy and sig left earlier..later..called sandra to come over too..three of us could finally talked..*memorable*..she saw yap too..and she said.."ur taste has degraded tremenously"..well..i know..but i just cannot stop it from coming..

left suling and i after sending sandra hm..we were walking ard..den stayed outside the hall to talk..both of us were actually looking at yap..finally suling found a positive side of Him..and i was pretty touched too..He actually carried a little girl onto the bench and was playing with her..the scene was so lovely..and he held the little girl's hand..*sweet*..i simply cannot forget..

went hm with suling..before leaving the sch..we could sense that poor girl wasnt really in good mood..most probably because of sunder..hope she's feeling better..take care girl..

hmm..feeling kinda tired already..has been a long day..sall stop here then..

to you..
i shall remain silent once again.

**[:: she whispered at 7:42 PM ::]**

|| Thursday, April 21, 2005

heya..

left the sch slightly early at ard 3.30pm..

was having cramps so i din wanna stay in sch any longer..and i'm scared to sit at my place..

as usual..went to sch with sab..hmm..she told me not to give up on Him..but i said no..i will let Him go..i choose to do it this way..y?..simple..y hold on to the kite when it is already attached to another?..afterall..i deserve a better kite..isnt it?

this morning..phang came over my seat to talk to me regarding APD..when he was abt to go..he knocked onto the desk..and the whole desk toppled..i got a shock of my life..so were the teachers in the staff room..
i screamed when the desk fell..my whole face turned red..blood was gushing up..i could feel it..my tears was abt to roll down too..
shir nee kept asking me to drink water to calm myself down..the rest were checking if i was fine..yup..i was fine..just shocked..
the male teachers helped to pick up all the books..very sweet of them..
guess the screw went loose..and there were too many things on it..so the whole table just toppled..

later..sat at don's place to do my stuff..din dare to sit by myself..

at that time..i really wished He was there to calm me..but i knew it would never ever happen..well..was just a thought..

hmm..don asked me to go for supper tonite..well..his ultimate aim is to ask ly along..and he even agreed to drive me hm..but ly will be driving tonite as well..wat a pity..and i dun wanna be lightbulb..guess the supper will be called off..

tml night..the nie teachers and i will be having dinner most probably in town..and maybe a drink or pool..and ly promised to drive me home..hee..gdgd..

wanted to wait for sab but i was kinda tired and the cramps was making me very uncomfortable..so i left by myself..

went for a hair cut before going home..all along i wanted to cut.couldnt stand my dried hair anymore..

got hm..mum was saying that my hair is very short..well..she doesnt like me to have short hair..so no matter so little i trim..she will still say it's short..

not really tat short actually..only tat when i tie..most of it will fall down..dun intend to tie anyway..

yup..tat's all for today..tata..

empty bottle..fill it or dump it..
i choose to dump it..

to you..
i shall remain silent..

**[:: she whispered at 5:52 PM ::]**

|| Wednesday, April 20, 2005

losing my cool..

hmm..just finished typing two more chinese albums..guess there shldnt be any more..gdgd..

well..nth much happened..if there were things happening..i couldnt be bothered as well..wasnt in gd mood the whole day..don was trying to cheer me up..but it was futile..watever..

left sch at ard 5..with sab..hide and others..before that..met sunder and yap..dun bother..

nth to blog..dun feel like blogging..shall stop here then..

to you..
i am losing faith in you..

**[:: she whispered at 6:36 PM ::]**

|| Tuesday, April 19, 2005

i just wanna to be alone..

got hm not long..took a bath..and cant wait to blog..just wanna voice everything out here..

as usual..was bz throughout the day..bz preparing for APD..marked test papers..another class test papers to come tml..anything..

was waiting for sab..supposed to catch a movie in town..and we ended up going cwp to have dinner instead cos the rehearsal ended late..

sat in mos burger..and sab told me something abt Him..

she was answering me the question that i have for Him in the previous blog..

during the rehearsal..He was telling sab He wanted to rush hm to accompany a girl..when i heard that..my mind was blank..completely blank..

i am devastated..at that moment..i was on the verge of crying..but i told myself that i'd to calm down..

sab was trying to convince me that it might not be true..but..i choose to believe everything that He said..and if He lied..then let it be..

throughout the whole dinner..He was spinning around in my mind..WHY?..WHY?..WHY?

and not only sab noes abt it..that freaking bloody 'lucy' was the first one to noe..and she spread it to another teacher..and that was how i learnt about it..of all ppl..wat the f***..

y all the initiative that u've taken when you already have someone else?..wat's with the phone calls and the smses?..is that fair to me?..i demand an answer from you..

well..sab was vexed up with some stuff too..but i'm sure they'll be fine as time goes by..and give everyone some time to cool down..

my way home on the bus..msged hide and su..both asked me to ask Him to find out the truth..sorry..i cant pluck up the courage to do so..din reply later cos i could sense that tears was going to roll down..i just wanted to be left alone..

got hm..while i was bathing..my eyes turned red..couldnt endure anymore..enough is enough..

i just feel like screaming..

to you..
i'm mad..
i'm devastated..
i'm totally drained..
i'm desperate for the truth from you..

**[:: she whispered at 8:12 PM ::]**

|| Monday, April 18, 2005

got hm..had dinner..

din have the time to blog when i was in sch..really hectic today..

had a lot of work to do today..got to copy the album to my laptop..type all the titles..mark test papers..and all are yet to be completed..

someone told me stuff abt Him..heard abt something..i really hope it is not true..i really hope so..well..maybe if it's true..i should let go..do i have a choice then?..no..

msged Him when i was in sch to ask if He wanna go hm together..He din reply..we saw each other soon after i msged Him..had eye contact..but so?..watever..walked out of sch with sab in the end..gonna catch a movie with her tml..

just received His msg..He apologised for not replying..He forgot to reply?..watever..

gonna keep myself occupied by typing the chinese song titles..hoping i will not think so much..will i?

to you..
i really want to know the truth..
but i know i dont have the gut to ask..
can you tell me it is not true?
please?

**[:: she whispered at 7:06 PM ::]**

|| Sunday, April 17, 2005

sigh

to you..

i just want to say..

everything is so mediocre..

**[:: she whispered at 9:52 PM ::]**

sunday afternoon..

i've just finished typing all the chinese song titles..su..thanks for ur "GREAT" help..u know wat i mean..finished marking test papers last nite..finally..got most things done for the wkends..tml will have more stuff to be done..

hmm..He msged me last night..and He called me too..His initative is coming back..good or bad?..i dunnoe..well..at least for now it's gd..He even msged me before He went to slp..

shall stay at home for today..nowhere to go anywhere..shall stay at hm and slack..nth much to update today..shall stop here then..

just went to check my hp..He msged me at 1pm..oops..i din now until now..just called Him..He's bz now i guess..so din talk much..

to you..
give me some time..

**[:: she whispered at 2:32 PM ::]**

|| Saturday, April 16, 2005

got hm at ard 7..

went for my jazz dance in the morning at bugis with su..

was really enjoying and i told myself to concentrate on the steps..and not get distracted by other stuff..

later..had lunch..and we went shopping since we were already at bugis..

hmm..got my eyebrowns trimmed..had french manicure..bought one baby poster..10 motivational postcards..a top from DCP and two watches..

su wanted to stop me from buying and buying but she knows i'm feeling troubled..so she din stop me..

in the train..msged Him..poor girl asked me to do so..at 1st..i tot it was useless to msg Him..as if He would know how i am feeling..but she said that i should msg Him and whether He understand or not is another matter..quite true though..

He replied when i was waiting for bus..well..msged a few times and i stopped..felt meaningless to continue..and i did not know how to continue..

got hm..elder brother is with his gf..again..watever..over the dinner table..mum was trying to piss me..i raised my voice a little..telling her not to piss me..or the one in the room would get a hell out of me..she din dare to talk much..cos she knows i jolly well will embarrasse him right infront of his gf..

well..shall keep myself occupied tonight by marking the test papers..one more class to go..and i still have the song titles to type..

anyway..gonna catch a movie with sab on wed..gonna chill..hey ger..movie's my treat k..

to you..
i am stuck with words..
i do not know how to express myself..

**[:: she whispered at 7:58 PM ::]**

|| Friday, April 15, 2005

back..

was typing the titles for the past 3 hrs..just dun have the mood to carry on..

y isnt my phone ringing..tat's my msn nick now..

am i expecting his call?

is his call so important to me?

maybe?..perphaps?

i'm in a dilemma..

i'm confused..

how i long crying out will enable me to sort out my mind..

but i know it wont..

i dont want to repeat the history..

what am i thinking?

what am i doing?

what do i really want?

do i really need Him to be by my side?

is He the answer to my questions?

i need some breather..

-tears-

**[:: she whispered at 10:32 PM ::]**

argh~

just feel like screaming..my mood is swinging very fast now..

well..it's an extremely packed day..only had two breaks between lessons..

now i got to help 2 classes with their APD..which means more work..i have so many things to do..i got over 20 albums today..and i got to type the titles out..almost half are chinese..gd luck man..

after typing the titles..i still have two classes of hist teest papers to mark..if i dun finish marking by this wkends..i would have another two more classes to mark..maybe this will keep me preoccupied and not think too much..

guess next wk will be quite hectic cos everyone will be bz preparing for the APD..gonna stay back in sch till very late i predict..

after sch..had to discuss with the class regarding APD..later..gave delong maths revision..until 5..and i continued typing the song titles till 5.30..

He had a meeting outside..so couldnt go hm together..it's alright..maybe i just need some time to be alone..to sort out my thoughts..

there were times when He walked past me..but i chose to avoid eye contact..

then..left the sch..took the bus with delong..he was actually waitng for me..din talk much..din feel like talking..

got hm..mum nvr cook..asked me to buy dinner hm..fine..tot she would accompany me..but nvr..nvm then..

going to have my 1st lesson of jazz dance tml..hope it will cheer me up..

to you..
there are times when i long for you to contact me..
but there are times when i just want to be left alone..
i am sorry..
but i am in a dilemma..

**[:: she whispered at 7:36 PM ::]**

|| Thursday, April 14, 2005

back again..

well..told Him abt the registration thingy..eh..din really tell Him the whole story..and since He nvr asked..i shouldnt elaborate too much too..

throughout the whole conversation.we were crapping..joking..and he was asking if any class gave me any problem today..just out of concern i guess..hee..

everything's going very smoothly..waiting for his call cos he has gone out..

hmm..thinking of having a lunch or something with Him..but..i noe i wont dare to ask..let it be..

talking to hide now..keep forcing me to have lunch with Him..haa..shall stop here..tata..

to you..
i am waiting your call..

**[:: she whispered at 8:12 PM ::]**

heya

got home not long..

after sch..taught delong maths..and left sch at ard 2..

went to the gym for some workouts since i din go yesterday..

at the beginning..din have a peaceful mind to exercise..cos got to help Him to call the sch..but i din have the number..called sunder..said he left the number at home..tried calling afew ppl and finally kolay was able to go online and get it for me..thanks girl..

at first..i thought the whole registration would be smooth-sailing..but..no..it did not..

the registration date has closed very long ago..so when i actually registered for Him this morning..He's on the waiting list..

asked the administrator how high is the chance to get into the course and he said it's very slim..i was like..

i really dunnoe how to tell Him..told Him i'll call Him later..i noe He really doesnt want to serve ns now..i dun want to make Him feel disappointed..

called hide after my workouts..i was in dilemma..asked her i wat i shld do and she said i should tell Him the truth..it's difficult..

but no matter what..i got to tell Him..i really pray hard that He can get the course..

to you..
i am sorry that i cant help much..
although i really want to..

**[:: she whispered at 5:42 PM ::]**

heya..

still have ard 10 more mins before my next lesson..so shall come and blog..

hey gers..thanks for leaving msges in my blog..everything's fine..moving on the right track..hee..

well..he nvr come to sch today..but i knew last night..unlike the past..i got to find out by myself..this time..he told me himself..hee..

was talking to Him last night for 2 whole hours..2 hours leh~..it has been so long since we chatted on the phone..and He was the one who initiated it..the whole conversation was so enjoying..kept laughing..hee..

was kinda late then and he insisted me of going to sleep..yup..did as he said..but after we hung the phone..we started smsing for awhile..=p

in the morning..while i was msging hide ( u know who u r) regarding the APD tixs..he msged me to see if i were on my way to sch already not..kinda shocked actually..hee..dun expect Him to wake up so early..

He has not register with the sch yet..gonna make him do so by today..

yup..tat's all for now..tata..

to you..
i miss you..

**[:: she whispered at 11:42 AM ::]**

|| Wednesday, April 13, 2005

yup..

back again..

talking to sig now..have been talking to him for hours..he's slacking in the bunk now..got punished and the whole platoon cannot book out for the day..

he wants to go for the APD..his main aim is to see yap..haa..wanna see how 'good' he is..lame..

asked me out on sat..see 1st lah..just feel like staying at home..hee..

well..got a tuition kid..so happy..trying to find more tuition kids since i'm gonna stop reliefing soon..

hmm..was trying to get more info abt the sign on thingy..asked xian and bang abt it..xian felt that it's better to study 1st before going abt to sign on to ns..cos if he is to sign on now..the pay that he will be getting is going to be mediocre..

gonna tell Him about it..but ultimately..He's the one making the decision..He has to learn to decide for Himself..for His future..

called sunder just now to check where the stuff has gone to..he tot i am still pissed with me so he dared not call me..hmm..he said they were very nice..poor girl's effort has not gone to waste..good good..

to you..
goodnight..
take care..

**[:: she whispered at 9:42 PM ::]**

heya..

just got home not long..and i simply cannot wait to blog..wat a day man..i simply cannot believe it..

shall start from the beginning..

in the morning..know yap was in sch cos He came into the staff room to put for stuff for the teacher..so it was a good start..

after my four periods..returned to the staff room..well..He was there too..guess what..He approached me and talked to me again..wow~

we were joking with each other..really fun..and He kept disturbing me with my piglets..so sweet..hee..

had lunch with the nie teachers..well..tot of having lunch with Him..but din noe how to..so forget abt it..

later..don wanted me to accompany with for lunch..too late..but he made me go down to the canteen with me..fine..since i had nth much to do..he treated me to a drink..and you know wat..He was in the canteen eating alone..so poor thing..

then don kept asking me to go accompany Him..but i was kinda shy..hee..went back to the staff room and msged Him..and we started msging each other..den he asked me what time i was going hm..i really turned mad after that..kept beating don and asked him wat He was trying to mean..i mean..duh..i knew wat He was trying to mean.but i just need someone to agree with me..hee

i said it depended on my mood..so i asked if he wanted to go hm with me..and he said:"ok lor"..argh~..i was really on cloud nine man..and i kept smiling till don couldnt take it..hee..

actually..was suppose to go to the gym..brought all my clothes with me in the morning..but..i chose to go home..hee..if you were me..i'm sure you would too..=)

later..one of the nie teachers was asking for my help..asked me to help her with her laptop cos it was an observation lesson..okie..

pity her..there were so many problems..the screen being projected was green..ada called yap using my hp to ask him to assist her..meanwhile i rushed down to get a new plug for her..

returned to the class..the previous plug was stucked in the socket..wat the..got to call yap again..He came..and i left the class..left Him to settle it..

then..i saw delong..finally..was waiting for him..revised his maths again..it was already 3+..and was supposed to meet Him at 3 to go home..

He called to ask where i was..i finished the revision with delong and hurried down..saw sunder at the concourse..rushed back to the staff room to get the thing for him..

He waited for me at the void deck..and we went hm together..

we really talked a lot during the journey..was discussing abt wat He shld study..whether to sign on or not..He knew i dun want Him to join police..so He did it on purpose to say He wanna join police..but i know He wont..most probably would be navy..

hmm..havent had such a LONG talk with Him face to face..no words can describe how i feel man..just cant stop smiling..

well..just help Him to look for more info on navy since He's too lazy to find it by Himself..

hmm..He just msged me again..hee..asking wat i'm doing..told Him that i am blogging..a hint to Him anyway..to tell Him that i have a blog..hee..so HaPpy~~

to you..
i am so so so happy..
you have actually waited for me..
no words can describe my feelings for you..

**[:: she whispered at 5:06 PM ::]**

|| Tuesday, April 12, 2005

*burp*

hee..just finished eating dinner..had spagetti..wanted to eat three plates..but my mum stopped me..saying that if i eat another plate..i'll feel bloated..cos i always eat so much at night..so i only ate two plates..yum yum..

hmm..dunnoe y (yar rite)..but i am simply having a good appetite..hee..munch munch munch..buahaahaa..=0

den..had one muffin that sab has baked..tried the chocolate one..really nice..had it with my mum..thanks girl..u really can bake..

took the train with one of the nie teachers..guess she must be vexed out..and pissed with the teachers..and she cried..so poor thing..

felt that the teachers shldnt grade them so poorly..afterall..it's gonna be their rice bowl later on..they must be seeking revenge..tat's wat i told the nie teachers..hee..hope i wont face the same situation in future..

to you..
you showed the the light of hope..
do not turn it to fake hope..false hope..
still waiting..
miss you..

**[:: she whispered at 7:46 PM ::]**

my workshop has finally finished..phew..

well..something made me feel better..He came today..afternoon shift i guess..

met yap in the office when i was rushing for the workshop..there was a change of room again and i asked yap to ask the class to go to the right room..thanks yap..

during the break..din notice He was just sitting opposite me until He talked to me..He TALKED to me..He took the initative to do so..dunnoe how to describe how i feel..but yar..happy..hee..

yup..shall go hm already..gonna be dinner time by the time i reached hm..tata..

to you..
i am on cloud nine..
are you opening up to me?
but no matter what..
thank you for your initative..

**[:: she whispered at 5:52 PM ::]**

i am PISSED..argh~~~

i thought i could go out of sch to have lunch before going for the workshop..but now..forget it..

sunder called and said he has something on AGAIN..felt so pissed and i just hang the call..i mean..wat the..i skipped all my breaks so as to have lunch with him but now?..feel so..argh~

y am i feeling so moody today?..is it because He's not here today?..watever..PISSED..

**[:: she whispered at 1:22 PM ::]**

heya..

finally there's some break for me to blog..supposed to be a slack day for me..but many teachers are absent today..so got to relief their classes..

slept at 9 last nite..early?..was kinda tired..monday is always like this..den sunder called at 12.30AM..my goodness..talked for half an hour..and i went back to slp..

this morning..sab gave me some muffins baked by herself..i'm sure they taste nice..thanks girl..=p

delong gave me sylvester's album..well..din expect him to really burn one copy for me..thanks anyway..den..another student lend me the original copy..must return one lah..so sweet of them..

yup..so now i'm listening to it..not too bad..a pity that i cant on too loud..it might to noise pollution for some ppl i guess..hee..

well..my students were asking why i looked so moody..hmm..maybe because He's not here today?..nvr see Him..am i really missing Him?..who can give me the answer?

gonna have lunch with sunder..if he nvr break his promise..if he does..i'm going to sream at him..hee..

yup..tat's all for now..

to you..
where are you?
i am missing you..
so so much..

**[:: she whispered at 11:02 AM ::]**

|| Monday, April 11, 2005

i'm back again..

just finished helping delong with his maths..gonna start from scratch..really hope he does well..he's one who will study but just that he has short attention span..

volunteered to assist with his class's APD..gonna type out the song list for them..100 CDs..all the best to me..hee..=p

waiting for delong..that yap asked him to do something first before going hm..bleah..fine..

*continued*

wasnt able to finish blogging when i was in sch cause delong and yap came into the staff room..wasnt very nice if they see it..

yup..get to see him again..had eye contact this time but we didnt talk..wasnt the right time i felt..too many ppl..

after that..while i was going down..met sunder..he came back today with a group of friends..talked for awhile and i left..told him to come again tml..but well..it depends his mood..

took train with delong..was drizzling but the wind was so strong..shared my umbrella with one of the students while delong walked under the rain..the student's and my skirt almost flew up and guess wat..my umbrella broke..one more pink umbrella gone..

went to cwp to buy old chang kee for myself and mum..got hm..took a rest..and been online for the past 3 hrs..i was typing the song titles which are all in chinese..omg~..just realised my chinese sucks..had a long time figuring the han yu pin yin although i have my dictionary with me..

don is feeling kinda grateful for helping his class..kept thanking me..well..just wanna contribute a little to the sch before i leave..

yup..gtg..dinner time..tata..

to poor girl: you looked tired today..felt that you shld take a break but the teachers dont seem to be letting you go..giving you task one after another..but no matter wat..you must take some breather..take care yah?

to you..
a glance is good enough..
but can i be more greedy?

**[:: she whispered at 7:06 PM ::]**

heya..

yup..still in school waiting for the time to pass..

well..have expected many students to drop by my blog..and expected them to have inferred who this blog is for..watever..hope you guys will sHhHhhh abt it..a favour i ask from you guys?

y do i think that they know it?..simple..went to a class in the morning..and the topic that they have raised made it so obvious..

tot of changing my blog address..to make it low profile..but if i do so..He wouldnt be able to find out..and i doubt He knows abt the existence of this blog anyway..

to you..
i saw you this morning..
so did you..
i know you were helping me again..
i just know it..

**[:: she whispered at 1:32 PM ::]**

|| Sunday, April 10, 2005

to you..

i just have the sudden urge to leave a blog specially for you..

19 more days and i will be leaving the place..

will there be a new story between us?

i really hope so..

what if there isnt?

i will not give up still..

i will wait..

wait till the day you realise..

realise that i am still hanging on..

though i am putting a strong front when i see you..

awaiting for your response..

friends have been reprimanding me..

to ask me to let go..

to ask me not to waste my time..

but no..

i want to hear from you before i make any decision..

say that i am stubborn..

i will wait..

no matter what..

give me the chance to wait for you..

will you?

i miss you badly..

**[:: she whispered at 6:02 PM ::]**

heya..

back from gym..

woke up this morning..saw my elder brother and his gf..sian..cant be bothered with them..better not disturb me or nth good will come out from my mouth..so my brother knows it..so he din disturb me..gdgd..all the more better..

was watching tv until i dozed off..hee..lack of sleep..

then..met gene at admiralty mrt station at 12.45 to get my jay chou's pic which i've forgotten to take last nite..thanks gene..

went to cwp to meet su and we went to the gym at amore fitness centre..the facilities are really great..jogged for 45 mins and did some arm training..havent been exercising since i was ill the other time..so shall get my stamina back slowly..should be going on wed again if there's nth on in the afternoon in sch..

had a bite at ya kun..went to popular after that cos su wanted to get some stuff for work tml..i bought a cute exercise bk..i intend to give it to delong..to encourage him to study..gonna start giving him extra lesson from tml..hope it works for him..jia you wor..

on my way back..msged poor girl to see if she's alright..but she has yet to reply..maybe the hp is with her mum..

i was listening to music too..and suddenly i tot of yap again..whenever i passed admiralty..i would hope that i'll see him..but it always failed..well..however i will nvr give up..never..wonder what he's doing now..does he know that i miss him?..somebody tell him pls..

hmm..poor girl just replied me..saying that her fever is on and off..take care my dear girl..

changed my msn nick to: [hui] - .:: guys = predators __ girls = preys ::.
y?..just feel that girls are always the victims..or at least most of the time..we've done wat we can do but wat do we get ultimately?..false hopes?..fake hopes?..worse till..nth at all..but we dun give up..we will still hang on..y the determination?..the reason is very simple..because we are in love..so in love with them..

to you..
the next blog is specially for you..

**[:: she whispered at 5:48 PM ::]**

heya..

just finished talking on the phone with sunder..he called me when i was bathing..got hm ard 1am..the same old group of guys sent me hm..they will nvr abandon me..hee..

was supposed to go to tampines as planned earlier..but we ended up going to town..cos kel wanted to join us in the end and he said he wanna go town cos tampines is too far..so we changed the venue since everyone was fine with it..

reached there..bought the tickets for the pacifier..had lunch at yoshi before that..den went shopping for awhile..

the show was comical and touching..worth watching..almost cried at some of the scenes..

den..had dinner at ajisen..then kel wanted to play pool so we went back to cwp to play..it was 11pm and the pool centre was fully booked..waited for ard 15mins before we got a table..den su left early cos calls from home were coming..we played till 12.30pm..was kinda sleepy by then and the centre was closing anyway..

kel took cab home..and the four of us..as usual..walked hm..they sent me hm 1st as usual..

as mentioned..was talking to sunder..he just wanted to chat with me cos he havent been talking..actually while i was playing pool..i msged him cos the poor girl msged me to say that she's running a fever..felt that a msg from sunder would make her feel better..but the guy didnt msg her..argh..

promise me to come back to sch on tuesday..to settle his admin stuff and to speak to mrs chew..he better not break his promise..told him to go and meet her but he refused..and wanting me to return the cd for him..i din agree..felt that they shld meet..but well..will he?..i really dunnoe..

asked him very seriously if he missed her..he said ya..it's so obviously..the other day when he came to sch..and he saw her going towards the concourse..his eyes nvr leave the sight of her..isnt it obvious?..told him that i am not always there to help him sort out his mind..he got to be on his own..but he kept changing topic and dragging yap into the topic..watever..shall try to speak to him on tue again..if he ever come..

to poor girl: do take care of your health..try not to think so much..one day he will realise that you've always been by his side..cheer up..=)

to you..
have you seen my blog?
i doubt so..
but it's okay..
i know one day you will..
i will wait..
take care yah..
goodnight..

**[:: she whispered at 2:16 AM ::]**

|| Saturday, April 09, 2005

back again..

lame is all i can say..

after i finished blogging..i went to see the poor girl's blog..she mentioned abt the prank too..and i realised that it was sent by another girl (A)..and that sunder had told A that he's seeing a girl from northland..so A told poor girl..

pissed as i was feeling..i msged A why she did tat and she told me it was sunder who asked her to do so..argh~..den..poor girl said she saw sunder when her dad drove out..*faint*..i tried my luck to call sunder..his hp is finally thru..

screamed at him on the phone..questioned him for wat he had said to A..and guess wat..he was joking..wat the..scolded him for it and asked him to msg poor girl..but i doubt he will do so..as yet..and he on his way to catch a movie at cwp with his friend..

told poor girl all abt it..guess she's extremely upset and wanting to be left alone for now..haiz..hope she'll be fine..

just nice..yap msged to ask y i needed to contact sunder..told him everything was fine already..he din ask much..he wont anyway..

yup..tat's all for now..in a rush actually..tata..

to you..
thanks for your reply..

**[:: she whispered at 12:36 PM ::]**

heya..

got nth better to do now..so shall come and blog..mum has gone to the clinic early in the morning while i'm still having my beauty sleep..she's still not back yet..shld be back soon i guess..

had maggi mee just..had the urge to eat it..so went to cook myself..hee..

well..meet them at 1pm later at admiralty..they cfm will be late one so i shant go so early..hee..asked them to bring jacket for me..two say dun have and the last one says it's with sadako..pish..shall bring my shawl then..gonna catch a movie at tampines..and a dinner..

hmm..last night..poor girl received a business card with sunder's hp no..she din dare to call so i called for her using my mum's hp..guess wat..there's no such number..wat the..i know she's very upset..and i kinda promised her that i'll contact sunder for her..she needs him by her side no matter wat..wanting to call his hse..but it isnt convenient for me to contact him thru his hse no..so i asked yap to help me..hope he doesnt forget to do so..and hope sunder doesnt go MIA again..or i'll skin him alive..if i wasnt so bz on thur..i doubt it would be like this..haiz..

alright..shall stop here for now..mum just called saying that she's coming hm le..gdgd..

to you..
i am going out with my friends later..
when will i have the chance to go out with you?

**[:: she whispered at 11:42 AM ::]**

|| Friday, April 08, 2005

heya..

got hm..had my dinner and here i am..

pissed..
reached hm..den saw my mum's eye swollen..she said there's something inside and she kept rubbing..and i kinda scolded her..i dun her to keep trying to 'cure' herself..once is good enough..nvr forget the time when she had ear infection cos she tried to 'cure' herself too..argh~..futhermore..my 2nd brother is not in s'pore..my elder brother nvr existed..wat am i supposed to do?..ask her to consult a doctor and she doesnt want..freak man..shall see tml morning before deciding to bring her to a doc not..

yup..had the interview..12 mins..su counted for me..it went well..so all i can do now is to wait for the answer..

later..went shopping with su at bugis..shoPping as the word defines..yar..bought some stuff again..yes..i noe i'm not suppose to..not gonna give any excuses..bought two pairs of pointed heels..one is white..dun have any white heels so got this pair..the next pair is of denim material..having 50% off..and the brand is da vinci..good brand and it's really affordable so i got it..but a tube..so cheap..so just buy lor..

lastly after sch..met su at northpoint to get my heels back..and i saw a pair of black pants..so i bought it too..erm..tat's all that i've bought..isnt a lot right?..watever..

well..after the shopping at bugis..went back to sch for the workshop..reached the sch..they were having the food and craft fair preview..the students made me order a lot of stuff..well..i dun mind anywhere..it's to raise fund for the needy afterall..

then..went to draw the keys for the two rooms for the hist workshop..was very hectic..cos imagine i had to run two places and they are located quite a distance away..and both the workshops started at the same time..and the trainers din noe how to get to the venues..and the yap said he would leave at 2.30..but ended up he said he had something to do and left very much earlier..luckily..i met delong..the student leader..he assisted me with one of the rooms..was really sweet of him..later he even stayed back till 5pm to help me close the rooms..

after that..got to meet su at northpoint..saw delong still in sch concourse..not going hm so i made to leave the sch..coincidentally..he wanted to go northpoint too..so we went together..guess some lower sec students saw us..see wat kind of gossip that i would hear on monday..stupid..then..took bus with su to go hm..

yup..tat's all for today..gonna have a conference with su and xian at 8.30 to discuss abt tml's outing..gonna be fun man..=)

to you..
i guess you must be bz today..
i hope everything's fine for you..
take care..

**[:: she whispered at 4:38 AM ::]**

|| Thursday, April 07, 2005

back again..

just cant wait to wait till tml to write another blog..

msged yap just now to ask him to go take a look at the sec1 boy tml..den he replied asking why..he tot he got scolded or something..so i said i was just worried in any case he got scolded by his parents and feel upset abt it..besides..i will not be in sch tml..then he kept laughing..dunnoe why oso..but he agreed to go take a look tml..

after awhile..he msged me again..asked me why i wont be in sch tml..kinda surprised that he would take the initative to msg and ask me a qn..*happy*..so i told him i'm having an interview and i asked if he was avle to draw the keys for the rms..and he told me he would be leaving sch early..trying to tell me that he's not able to help me draw the keys..well..it's okay..

so i asked y he wanna leave so early..he said he had no choice..and i told him tat i noe his stuff thru mrs chew..and i said tat i wanna noe more but dunnoe if he's willing to tell not..and he was so damn straightforward..he juz msged me a no..

din wanna reply actually..but in the end..i did..i said nvm..and i wun ask anything..and he replied:"ha ha ha...ok..."..watever..at least we're talking again..start afresh i guess..

yup..tat's all i wanna say..hmm..afew more hours to my interview..pray hard tat it'll be fine..=)

to you..
i wont ask much..
as long as we're communicating..
it's more than enough..

**[:: she whispered at 9:02 PM ::]**

heya..

just got home..took a bath and come online le..well..supposed to be a slacking day but ended up it wasnt..shall start from the morning..

after the first two periods..had brunch with charmain..then the principal came and joined us..told her abt the boy who i feel tat he has great prospect in some stuff..given her the name and i really hope she can assist him..guide him along..just like how she has guided sunder and yap (Him)..and she insisted of me going for the principal's tea even though i had to attend the hist workshop..

later..had a class to relief..sec5..and there was a guy who din wear any shoes..so funny..later..kept seeing him ard in sch..like when i was in the library..den later in the general office..and at that time his nose was bleeding..too heaty i guess..but i joked with him that it was bcos he kept seeing me and got too excited..hee..lame man..

and i saw sunder as well..he nvr break my promise..hee..but i din get to talk to him..too busy then..but poor guy..had a plaster on his forehead and was limping..take care wor..

had sra in the library with the sec1 class..den some guys showed me a letter saying that there were some sec2 girls who wanna confront them due to an incident..sort of guess that a fight would break up..so i went back to class with them after that..waited with the guys in class for the girls..just wanna noe who they were..while waiting..i went to the general office to get more beta forms..and i saw yap and told him abt it..kinda needed his help..so he went with me to the class..the girls were not there yet..he went up but i din follow..

later..the girls came..i acted blur and left the class..actually..i was kinda scared..called yap to go down immediately..i ran back to the class..yap was on his way too..when i went there..saw a big group of ppl..i was like..wah..when the group saw us..they kinda disperse themselves..but yap managed to grab hold of those involved..let him to settle the matter with them..

then after "settling"..the boy went back to class..crying..spoke to him..know he is upset abt his broken discman..tried to console him..and yap came..spoke to him too..guess yap was right to side the girls cos in the first place he shouldnt bring his discman..but try putting ourselves into his shoes..who wont be upset?..well..hope he will be fine tml..shall ask yap to take a look at him tml..cos i will not be in sch..

yup..after that..yap and i talked..kinda agrueing with each other again..in a funny way..kinda happy..or shld i say..extremely happy..hee..we talked..finally..hope there will be more to come..

after the workshop..msged yap to see if sunder was still in sch..but he din noe...so i left sch..

yah..before i forget..the tea was fun..sat with pang..kiat keat and the student leaders..did a lot of stupid stuff..haa..

all in all..though it had been a hectic day..it was a meaningful one..especially because i get to have a conversation with yap..=)

got to stop here..wanna have my dinner..and i got to cut my nails later..because of the interview tml..wish me all the best k..tata..

to you..
we finally talked..
i really enjoyed it..
i treasure it..
hope there will be more..

**[:: she whispered at 6:42 PM ::]**

|| Wednesday, April 06, 2005

heya

just had dinner..was checking my ibankng and stuff..took quite a long time thinking of my password..and i finally thought of one..

went to cwp with su..grabbed some bite..then went shopping..bought a handbag with su..well..i had serious tot before getting the bag one k..and it wasnt that ex though..hee..

then we went to sign up for the amore courses..finally..and yeah~..the jAzz daNce is coming..hee..

tml will be a long..got to attend a workshop..hope i dun fall aslp..hee..cant wait for saturday to come..xian's organising a gathering..gonna catch a movie..i'm sure the day will be great..but well..got to go through my interview on friday first..

to you..
i miss you..
have you my blog?
i doubt so..
hope to see you..
take care..

**[:: she whispered at 7:48 PM ::]**

yup..still in sch..in the com lab..cos my students need the com to do some research and they asked me to book the com lab for them..so i have to acc them as well..it's okay..i'm slacking in sch anyway..gonna meet su later to sign up for the amore fitness courses..my jaZz dAncE..yEah~!..finally i can fulfill my dream..=)

well..He nvr come to sch again..instead rIdwan came to help out..y?..i dunnoe..watever..and sunder promised me to come to sch today but he called me juz now to say that he has some impt stuff to do..so he said he would definitely come tml..doubt he would break his promise..

dunnoe whether right now is the season or wat..this morning..the nie teacher told me her grandma passed away this morning..den shir nee told me that a student's dad just passed away..and shir nee told the boy if he needs to talk to somebody..can come and find me..which i really dun mind..cos i once felt how he's feeling now..hope he'll get over soon but i doubt it's easy..den in the afternoon..shir nee said his bf's granddad has passed away too..aiyoyo..wat's happening..-bleah-

okay..shall stop here for now..the com is making me tired and dizzy..shall take a rest and see what my students are doing..tata for now..

to you..
i need a shoulder to lie on..
can you lend me yours?

**[:: she whispered at 3:12 PM ::]**

to: mr pop by
i know that you have read my blog and i know that you will come and read again..so this is for you..and tat's y the nick in msn..since you've read it..i shant deny abt anything already..yes..it's true that i dun wanna meet you..cos i feel that there isnt a need to..so what if we meet..wat are we going to talk abt..how am i?..how's ur ns life?..the whole conversation will be mediocre..wat's the point then?..go ahead to not to keep in contact with me..i'm fine..

**[:: she whispered at 10:56 AM ::]**

|| Tuesday, April 05, 2005

back again..juz changed my blogskin..all thanks to su..her brain cells have been used up..well..updated my friendster too..left my blog address there for Him..well..this blog is actually for Him..so somehow or rather..i hope He is able to learn abt my blog address..

well..at 1st i said i dun wanna do many ppl to know abt my blog..but i guess..sooner or later..a lot of ppl will noe anyway..besides..i left my blog address in my friendster for Him to see..hopefully he sees it..

hmm..zn called su again..to ask me to take care in uni and stuf like tat..=lame=..just cant be bothered by wat he said/says/saying..hope he will change to the better after ns..

aiyo..haiz..juz clicked back to my msn..guess wat's mr pop by's nick..something tat's obviously for me..it goes like this "mr pop by says: i read it..sorry to have bothered you all this time.. wont msg again. gdbye and take care."--> read wat?..mad..is it bcos of my nick?..but my nick isnt meant for him..mine is "[hui] - Rub-a-dub-dub -- are things getting a little soapy when it comes to a certain situation?"..it's meant for Him..not mr pop by..pish..watever lah..pissed..

to you..
take care..
goodnight..

**[:: she whispered at 9:32 PM ::]**

hmm..din have the strength to come online yesterday..kinda tired yah..after school..went to cwp to have lunch with su..was raining when i walked out of sch..but cant be bothered to take my umbrella out..

reached cwp..went walking ard..kel called me..the same prob again..that ger..at least su and i are proud of him..finally he plucked his courage out to confess..confront the ger..well..hope tat ger will get over it..which i'm sure she will..

had lunch at pasta mania..was extremely full..had a pasta each and shared apizza..crazy rite..but was really nice..hee..had quite a long chat..den we went to amore fitness centre..kinda decided to sign up for it cos there's jazz courses too..so happy..finally can learn my jazz dance..hee..

received call from the tuition centre to go for an interview..gonna call back later to reject their offer..tot for some time..and i feel tat teaching primary sch kids is not my cup of tea..hee..and it's kinda tiring to hold two jobs at the same time..i need freedom..hee..

well..meeting my di at j8 later..gonna get my chingay cert..he said it's kinda big so better get prepared..wonder how big it can be..

sucks..me and my big mouth..i was trying to twist the whole thingy so as to side myself..but ended up..haiz..i msged mr pop by last nite to say tat i'll be at j8 ard 3pm so i tot he would still be in camp at that time..so since he kept asking me out and i always rejected him..this time i shall aske and HOPEfully he would say he cant make it..but i am sO sO wrOng!!..pish..he juz msged me not long ago to to say that he will be at j8 at ard 3 oso..wat the freak~

so shld i meet or shld i not..watever lah..wat comes may..

well..He came to sch today..din come yesterday..dunnoe y oso..i wouldnt dare to ask as well..He came to my class again..kinda shocked..was playing an EL game with the class..slightly noisy..and suddenly he appeared infront of the class while i was at the back of the class..he stared at the students and i had to paused for a moment..in my mind was..yes that i dun deny i wanna see Him..but it was at a wrong time i guess..the students tot he was so "yaya"..y did he appear at that time?..lame -> it's the only word i can think of to describe Him now..watever..

shall end here..cant wait for 29th April to come..hoping it will be a new start then..

to you..
had a glance at you when we walked passed each other..
had something on yesterday?
hope you are fine..
take care yah..

**[:: she whispered at 2:12 PM ::]**

|| Sunday, April 03, 2005

sneeze sneeze..cough cough..well..obviously i'm still having flu..but i guess it getting better..find myself so guai..stayed at home for 2 days straight..haa..more like i dun have the strength to go out..the medicine made me feel like jelly..but at least i did something at home..set another hist paper..and..i think nth else leh..buahaahaa..

hmm..still waiting for that sunder to call me..he called me on friday nite..but i was too drowsy to tok to him..so msged him to call me the next day..but he has yet to call me..shall msg him later maybe..well..somehow know wat he wanna tok to me abt..wat else rite..hee..

actually..i wanted to go to the bank tml to activate my card but bcos of su..i shall go on tue then..yup..so i'm going to meet su tml for lunch..pasta mania or fiesta..shall decide tml then..

having the sudden thought of learning jazz dance..hee..asked bertram abt it and he said the one at orchard is good..so take a look on friday after my interview..going shopping in town on friday..so take some time to rest..to relax..hee..

chatted with bertram for quite awhile..toking abt relationship and stuff..conclusion: life moves on no matter what..

to you..
how are you?
have all your problems been settled?
i hope they are..
take care yah..

**[:: she whispered at 4:46 PM ::]**

sneeze sneeze..cough cough..well..still having flu..but it's better liao..i guess..hee..stayed at home for 2 days straight..so guai rite..more like i dun have the strength to go out..tat sunder called me on friday nite..but i was too drowsy to tok to him..so i msged him to call me the next day..but until now..he has yet to call me..guess i somehow know what he wanna tell me oso..wat else rite..hee

wanted to go to the bank tml to activate my card..but bcos of su..i'll go on tuesday then..hee..so i gonna meet su tml for lunch..and will be getting more info abt the amore fitness courses..but i'm still thinking of taking up the jazz courses..having the sudden urge to learn jazz dance..found one dance sch at orchard..not bad i guess..shall go down on friday to take a look at it..

yup..tat's all for now..nvr do much today anyway..tata..

to you..
how are you?
are your problems settled?
do take care..

**[:: she whispered at 4:06 PM ::]**

|| Saturday, April 02, 2005

well..was wondering if i should blog not..but i guess there's not harm trying..not gonna let so many ppl know abt my blog..i just wanna find some place whereby i can voice out my feelings..be it anger..sorrow or joy..at least i guess i'll feel better after that..i hope..

has been sick since tue..many ppl have shown their concern..teachers kept asking me to see a doc to get a mc..but i refused..cos there're just too many things for me to do..got 4 class test papers to set..if i eat those medicine..i defintely wouldnt have the strength to get all my stuff done..so i choose to eat panadols..even my mum was forcing me to see doc..but i din botther..i have already useds up 9 packets and 2 boxes of tissiue papers..super rite..hee..

like i said..so many ppl have shown their concern to me..but He didnt..yesterday..i was supposed to rush down to nus to send in some stupid doc..but i din wanna go alone..so the nite before..i was sunder to go with me..but sab has asked him for a movie..they hardly meet..so i shant disturbed them..hee..so sunder asked me to ask Him..din have the courage at 1st..but in the end..i msged Him still..well..kinda expected wat kind of answer he would give me..though i wish it wasnt..he said he had some family matters to settle..well..it's okay..*expected*..so i asked hui ming to accompany me..of cos she din rejuect me..how can she abandon me rite..hee..

luckily..i din have to rush down to nus in the end..i was able to faxed the docs from NbSs..*phew*..din noe how to use the fax machine there..and the office clerk was kinda bz and i din wan to disturb her..so i tried to fax it by myself..then He came..and He said "auntie..u noe how to use not?"..well..actually..i'm kinda happy..at least he spoke to me..hee..he made sure that i faxed my doc before he left the sch..*smile*

i know i'm supposed to forget Him..but it's tough man..everyday i'll see Him in sch..no doubt i'll think of Him rite..yesterday morning when i was in 1E1..he came over..to make sure that the class din give me any prob..he scolded two students who were "fighting"..well..is this how he shows his concern to me?..hopefuly when i leave the sch in 29 april..he would open up to me..i really hope so..

mr pop by asked me out again..cant remember how many times he had asked me out but i refused..or should i say i nvr reply his msg..i juz dun have the mood to go out with him..when we meet..how are we going about to start a conversation?..wat are we going to talk abt?..am i going to start listening to him boasting abt his nS life?..i think it's better tat we dun meet..

poor sig..guess he's at hm rotting away..supposed to meet him today for a movie and shopping but i seriously dun have the strength to go out..glad tat he's understanding..he even wanted to come and look for me..but well..better not..hee..shant give him a wrong signal..and i shant be bothered by the signals he's trying to give me..

all along..i have been writing wat i wanna tell Him in my friendster..and i really hope He sees it..still thinking if i should give Him my blog address..or maybe somebody will juz tell Him..and if He bothers..He will learn abt it..well..i'll end off with a msg for Him..

to you..
i am still waiting..
waiting for you to speak to me..
waiting for you to show your concern for me..
will you give me the chance to wait?

**[:: she whispered at 5:42 PM ::]**

*-* the girl*

-lena-
-female-
-19-
-28 jan 1986-
-coloured rebonded hair-
-big black eyes-
-french manicured fingers-
-my heartwarming family-
-my beloved dad = i miss you so much-
-my dedicated mum = take care-
-my sweet-loving brothers = muackz-
-mr evil = you're lost in my eyes-
-NtU_nIe (edu) . Bachelor of Science-
-pioneer jc.cedar.admiralty.jiemin-
-odac.npcc-
-my everdearest piglets-
-pinky.sleepy.sweetie-
-angel.you you-
-my long-lasting chou chou-
-my always so cool brownie-
-ah xi.ah xin.ban na na-
-jazz dance.amore fitness centre.gym-
-tanning.tennis.manicure.pedicure-
-nBss.swisstotel merchant court.Og sales assistant-




++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

*-* her wants and wishes

^happy family^
^waiting for him^
^engagement ring in 2010^
^denim jacket^
^levis jeans^
^driving licence^
^digital camera^
^SE K750i^
^laptop^

*_just speak your mind_*

*-* archives

April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
May 2006

*-* ^^just for you^^

Love is patient..love is kind..it does not envy..it does not boast..it is not proud..it is not rude..it is not self-seeking..it is not easily angered..it keeps no record of wrongs..love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth..it always proyects..always trusts..always hopes..always perseveres.. - corinthians 13:4~7 -